empowerHER, Support for girls who have lost their mothers

*empowerHER Luminaria event, Los Angeles (Photo Courtesy: empowerHER + Lauren Cole Imagery)*

empowerHER on Today's Paige, the podcast

Cara Belvin was just nine years old when her mother died of breast cancer.

“It was just a really painful experience, the missing her and the isolation and also the lack of resources. Outside of our family and friends, there wasn’t anything that existed for my brother and me, for kids like us,” says Belvin.

Decades later and as a mom herself, Belvin set out on a mission to change that.

In 2013, Belvin founded empowerHER, a nonprofit organization that empowers, supports and connects girls and young women age 24 and younger who have lost their mothers.

“If you don’t have any space to really talk about your grief, talk about your mom, talk about what just happened, talk about how you feel different and be provided with opportunities to meet other girls or peers your age who are also feeling the same thing, it’s isolating,” says Belvin.

empowerHER works to take away some of the feelings of isolation and loneliness so many people, especially young children, feel after losing a parent. The organization not only provides a mentorship program but also organizes year-round community-based events. empowerHER mentors are positive role models who are older than the age of 25 who have also experienced the loss of their mothers.

The Mother’s Day Retreat is the organization’s flagship event and the one that began it all. The all-expense paid weekend retreat gathers girls together both in-person and virtually during what is typically one of the most emotional and difficult times of the year for them.

Luminaria is another powerful empowerHER event that takes place in ten cities across America each year on Mother’s Day. It is a whimsical display of personalized bags honoring loved ones and purchased by donors at $25 each.

empowerHER Luminiaria event (Jupiter, Florida)

Thousands of volunteers help empowerHER’s small staff of five make these events happen. All programs are provided at no charge to families and are available in person or virtually. The organization is represented in 25 states and 12 countries and receives funding from individual giving, corporate and foundation partnerships.

“Our first Mother’s Day retreat multiplied into these amazing events throughout the year. There are beach parties with surfing lessons. There are yoga events and cooking classes. We had a celebrity chef in Boston teaching the girls how to roll sushi. And the girls didn’t even like sushi. It wasn’t the point,” says Belvin.

“It was just to get in the room, look around the room and realize you’re not alone in this. On Monday, you go back to school, you go back to normal life and you really are the only girl in the world whose mom died. But at empowerHER, I can prove otherwise. I can show you that you are not alone in your grief. I’m going to introduce you to these girls - girls of all different ages - that you can draw strength from, girls who have lost their mom from any type of loss. It might have been a terminal illness like breast cancer, some by suicide or substance abuse or a sudden death, a heart attack or car accident,” adds Belvin.

Belvin reiterates that empowerHER is not a therapy program. empowerHER is all about community, togetherness and helping girls along the way after great loss.

“I’d say to the loved ones who know and love a girl whose mother died or to the man who just lost his wife - anyone who knows great pain or grief and sadness… I’d say they would rather you talk to them then you whisper behind their back. If it comes from a place of love, you can never say or do anything wrong,” says Belvin.

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